Home or just a beautiful house

 Is it just a house or a home?  It’s hard to know when a house becomes a home.  We all want to live in a home.  And that magic line between the two is often very faint or a brick wall.  A home doesn’t have a certain size or decor or monetary value.  A real home is where one feels the safest, the most comfortable, and where one keeps their most prized possessions.  But it takes all those to make a home.  Right now I live in a house with my prized possessions and it feels safe, but something is missing.  Not sure what it is. It feels comfortable but could be more comfortable.  There is another component in that equation.  Eventually this will feel like home used to in Colorado.  Leaving wasn’t what I wanted so it’s hard to be at home here.  To be fair the weather here takes away some of the comfortable I felt in Colorado.  Humid air has never been something I tolerated very well.  I love the dry low humidity of a more arid climate.  I sleep better in that environment.  Sleep is important.  Haven’t learned to sleep well here, yet.  That can put a damper on a house or area feeling like home.  More on this later.

It’s been a long journey

 It’s been a long journey.  One at times seemed too hard to take.  I like most are sick of anything to do with coronavirus or whatever the heck it’s called.  It has changed life forever.  Nothing will ever be the same.  Still have to wear a mask most places.  Enough about this.

Moving is a hard thing to do.  Moving to another state, harder.  Moving away from loved ones, even harder.  Moving away from a state I love, harder.  Add all that up and you have a difficult move.  It’s almost “complete”.  The furniture doesn’t fit the new house.  And the last house was built to a much higher standard than the one we moved in to.  The question, to stay or move, again!?  Each new day presents different challenges.  At this point neither house is home.  And yet I am so blessed.  So there is a struggle with the feeling that no where feels like home even though our “stuff” is in a very nice house.  I guess time will tell if we are able to make this one feel like home.  

No one reads my blog but I want a place to document my journey.  That is here.  Basically for me.

It has been 4 years

It’s been 4 years since we buried my dear mother.  Her funeral was just the way she would have liked it.  It was very precious.  She was such a wonderful soul, a vision of God Himself shining through all that she was.  She allowed God to transform her and in the end she was rewarded as we all would expect, I’m sure.  This song was my song that kept me going while I missed her spirit here in this earth.  I’ve shed a bucket of tears listening to this song.  Enjoy it with me, again.

Precious Lord

We had a celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King at our church last night.  This song!  It was sung at his funeral by Mahalia Jackson.  It’s the only thing I remember about his death.  But I do remember hearing her sing this at the funeral that was televised or later somehow.  Love it.

Almost 4 years

Doesn’t seem possible that my dear mother has been gone almost 4 years.  I still miss her so much.  Although she had lived a wonderful 93 years and  she was ready to go home.  But she will be missed until I join her.  The one thing I can hear in my head of her is her singing.  She sang praises to God all the time, even when she couldn’t hear herself sing.  She told me she too heard her mother sing all the time.  They both probably sang this hymn.  Jetta would quote this song to me along with others.

He is there for me just as He was for my mother and her mother.  He never said this life was easy and actually said it wouldn’t be easy but that He would never leave us or forsake us.  I’m writing this for me today.  This is for me to soak up.  If it spills over on someone else, good.

Music from Marvin Gaye

It’s almost NYE and we need a good tune to carry with us across the line into the new year, one that we can learn from or prompt us to think about where we are.  This one will certainly do that.  Listen, more than once and read the words.

Mother, mother

There's too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today, eheh

Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today, oh oh oh

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on
What's going on
Yeah, what's going on
Ah, what's going on

In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on brother
Right on babe

Mother, mother, everybody thinks we're wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply 'cause our hair is long
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh oh oh

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
C'mon talk to me
So you can see
What's going on
Yeah, what's going on
Tell me what's going on
I'll tell you what's going on, ooh ooo ooo ooo
Right on baby
Right on baby

Music from the 70s

Now, I love music.  It feeds my soul just as food feeds my body.  I have a couple genres that work best for me.  Some days I want all vegetables and other days I need a bit of protein.  Some days it’s classic jazz all day, then others I need a shot of soul from my youth.

Just a couple from this evenings round of music.   These are not necessarily my favorite because with a generation of soulful sounds it’s hard to pick a favorite.  I’m sure I have my more favorite tunes but for this post these are the freshest on my mind.

Right around the corner is the new year.  I committed to reading the Bible through last New Years and guess what???  I will have it read on the 31st.  I would recommend this challenge to everyone.  There were times it was tough!  I got behind and that’s never easy to come back from but I am glad I have almost done this. It was good to get the whole picture and I love the Word even more!  I will reread in 2019 on a 24 month schedule so I can slow it down and read to understand more.

Another challenge I’ll do is Florals Your Way on Instagram.  It’s a drawing challenge each month, every other day.  I’ve been able to keep up this month and last.  It keeps me on my toes.  I’ll post the better ones on my blog.

What challenges are you doing?

Another Year, Another Christmas

Another one...
Was it earth shattering?  Not really.  But it did have it’s exceptional parts.  The gifts I made for my most precious Helena couldn’t have been more lovingly accepted.  What a wonderful little girl.  And her Grandpa, Pawee, did his part!

         

She is the brightest spot in my life.  Thank You, God for this very special girl!  

That’s it for Christmas 2018.  Next year will bring wonderful surprises!

Have you ever been torn between two places?

I am torn between the memories of 40 years at one place and 4 at another.  I lived in Oklahoma for 40 years.  That time started my freshman year in college through 2014.  During that time I experienced about all one could experience.  There came a time when I felt I just had to leave.  Whether it was the risk of tornadoes, and we grow them BIG in Okla, or just running away from always seeing someone you know everywhere you go, but I had to go somewhere else and make a new start.  At the time the short list was Colorado Springs and Kansas City area.  My son did not like KC so that knocked the list down to 1.  I was not going to live in a place that he might be less than likely to visit.  So, off to Colorado we went.  We found a house fairly quickly in a wonderful neighborhood.  The best part of that was the neighbors that we had there.  They were the best we ever had.  It was a very close knit group that we found ourselves a part of in a very short time.  We also found a church to be a part of and a Bible study in our neighborhood with friends we will have the rest of our lives.  I would venture to say that they are the best friends we have ever had.  After a while we left that church for the most amazing worship experience of my life in Aurora.  It is the best for us at this time.  On top of all that 2 of the 3 children moved here to stay the rest of their lives in this area.  So, with all this great stuff how could I possibly miss Okla?  Well, it's the memories.  I can fly into the airport and look out at the city and see all the tears I shed for lots of different reasons there.  I also see all the great times and all the successes and all the emotions.  They all happened there.  So, what do I miss, the memories of the people?  I obviously miss the people.  There are a few people that are at the top of  my list.  My Jo is there.   I will always miss being able to be near her whenever I need.  I've tried to be there as often as I can, but there are times I don't see her for 3 months.  That's just too long.  That can't be helped.  That is just the way it will be.  Not what I would wish for.  I also have my wonderful sister and the world's best brother-in-law there.  I miss them a lot also.  Having these 3 people there has me torn between 2 places.  Do I really want to live in Okla again, not really.  Do I want to see them when I want, YES.  But miles keeps that from happening.  Here we are at Christmas time, a real family time, and they are there, some 600 miles away.  I will be OK and the family here will make new memories with the worlds best granddaughter, but a part of me will remain in Okla with Jo and Max and Judy and Winford.

Enjoy another Christmas song.

O Christmas Tree

It’s all about Christmas music today.

Wynton Marsalis is obviously one of my favorite musicians and here he is playing O Christmas Tree, Dixieland jazz style.  When he does Dixieland I can tolerate it.  Others, not so much.  But I love Antonio Carlos Jobim and here’s one of his Christmas tunes.  Enjoy.

When did Christmas become so fast paced?

Has it always been this fast paced?  Or was there ever a time that it was nice and slow paced enough to go caroling and bake cookies and all the other traditions that take time?  It’s been a stressful busy time for as long as I can remember.  When my children were very young we had no money for gifts and we made gifts.  Of course that made the time around the holiday busy but we still had time to do things like decorate and we loved it.  It was important to have the Christmas music on and we baked and ate cookies and candy and gave it away to neighbors and loved ones.  Things changed when the kids were in the homeschool basketball program.  Actually a lot changed then and mostly I wish we had avoided that program completely!  The people in charge of that program did not have my kids best interest at heart!  It took years for me to see that clearly.  The director was a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing!  But back to Christmas,  because of this I only tolerate Christmas today.  I want to make it special for my granddaughter and each year she becomes more aware will help me to get in the spirit of Christmas.  I will always be beyond grateful for God’s Son becoming a baby and made flesh for me.

Another card...

Another Christmas song...

More Cards

i made several more Christmas cards today.  For some reason I insist on no two alike.  With that in mind they are taking a lot longer than they should.  They are a gift and most will throw the card away.  I have to be ok with that.  Just a labor of love.

One of my favorite.

Here comes another Christmas song.

RIP, Nancy Wilson.

Christmas Cards

Who makes their own Christmas cards?  This year I decided to use my hobby and make my own Christmas cards.  Little did I know that it would be this detailed and take this long.  It has been a labor of love and I had no idea each one would need to be so involved.  Now, before you think they are good or even close let me say they are a hobby and I just enjoy the heck out of drawing.  That’s reason enough to be ok with what they look like.

I’ll just leave you with a Christmas song.

Christmas Music

If you aren't sick of Christmas music yet let me help with that.

It takes something like this to make the Christmas songs a little more palatable.  At least that's what it takes for me.  I certainly love jazz so this is a no brainer for me. 

 

Here is another in the Nutcracker installment.  This has been done so many ways.  I do love this version.  It's not a new thing but it has taken me a long time to find it.  Enjoy.

A Song

The world is a better place because my SIL is here.  And an even better place because he makes amazing music to share with the world.  He put out a new piece recently and I have loved listening to it over and over.  Here it is.

I hope you enjoy this half as much as I have.  Go ahead listen a couple of times, maybe more.  

I have been drawing more lately.  This piece I’m sharing here is not finished but enough.  I have been doing mandalas lately.  This is really more of a zendala.  

Nutcracker

'Tis the season for the Nutcracker.  Over the years I spent a lot of time at Nutcracker rehearsals and heard that music ad nauseam.  So, when I heard this version of the sugar plum fairy I was pretty much thrilled.  Not only does it move, it is played by one of the greatest.  So, here goes.  I hope it is enjoyable.

It's Been a Long Time Coming

I haven't blogged in a very long time.  I am probably the only one to even see this.  That is OK.  I just need to revive my blog so it doesn't go down as one of those things I quit.  I may take long breaks, but I'll be back.

Of course I will almost always have a tune I want to share and that is true today.  One of my favorite Jazz musicians is Wynton Marsalis.  Here he presents his version of Carol of the Bells.  LOVE!

In other news, I am drawing.  I am actively enjoying the Zentangle 12 days of Christmas challenge.  That is always fun.  I continue to do the Florals Your Way from instagram challenge each month. I don't post my work but if you ask me I might show.  Some days they look horrible, and other days I can say they are acceptable.  I'm still learning.                                                                                          

Merry Christmas!  Celebrate the Baby in the manger, because that is my reason for this season!

Music: In Jesus’ Name

This is one of the songs we sang at our Easter service.  It was wonderful!

ENJOY!

Music : Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

This hymn.......

Music: Gonna Be Alright

I can be a bit of a pessimist which I prefer to call realism.  And I can get quite down in the dumps over a lot.  Sometimes I just need a song like this to tell me what I know in my heart.  It’s just nice to hear it.  Maybe you need an it’s-gonna-be-alright song, too.