As We Wait

As we wait I am flooded with memories and things I wish I had said and ways I could have treated my dear mother with more respect...  It leaves me feeling sad and at 93, I wish I had had more time with her.  Would there ever be enough time?  She was easily my most significant mentor.  The only other ones were my deceased sister and my sister who I still have.  So grateful for my sister.  She and I have each other to comfort and work together with during this difficult time.  And it has difficult.  Bless her heart my sweet mother is deep in her sleep.  Her body is shutting down and she seems very peaceful.  We have stood vigil all week.  We are now on day 4.  I guess it could happen at any time.  I hope it is a sweet passing with a crowd waiting for her on the other side.  She should have quite a cheering squad there.  She has 2 daughters, a husband, a mother and father, 2 sisters, 3 brothers, a MIL and FIL and BIL's and SIL and numerous friends.  But the main crowd will be my daddy and sisters and her parents and siblings.  I can see them gathered there.

Let us lay before the Master from the dawn till setting sun
Let us talk of all his wonderous love and care
And when all of life is over and our work on earth is done
When the roll is called up yonder I'll be there
When the roll is called up yonder...

 when the roll is called up yonder

When the roll is called up yonder when the roll is called up yonder I'll be there.

One of her favorite songs she sang herself to sleep with almost every night until Mon.    I must go and enjoy all the time I can with her, even if she is almost comatose.  The hearing is last to go and I want her to know more than anything that I will see her there.

The Beginning of a Journey

My mother is starting on that journey and we are taking it part way with her.  Tomorrow I fly out to be with her.  Who knows how long I will stay.  But I want to soak up all the time I can with her before she crosses that river.  She has been waiting to cross that river for a while, but God knew she had more lives to influence before going on that journey.  I have already cried a bucket of tears, just knowing that she is slipping away.  I can sense it in my spirit.  She still attacks each day with the positiveness that she has always had.  Before I moved to Colorado, I sat with her and got some of songs on video/audio.   Here is one of the songs she thought of since I would not be seeing her everyday.

This is the beginning.  I just hope I can make it there before she crosses the river.

My Mother

My mother is beginning to show more failure than she has before.  It seems she is getting ready for a journey, the journey of her life.  I am far away and feel more out of touch than is comfortable.  The news this week is that she has pneumonia.  Home health just turned her over to hospice.  That is good for my sister, because she is living with my sister and BIL.  My sister tells me a lot, but I'm sure I only get a small portion of what is going on there.  Just as I was leaving to come home from my last visit which was 3 weeks ago, my mother was having more and more trouble using her legs.  I understand she can not use them now.  So, as I start this journey, I have put together a mix of pictures I had readily available on my computer.  I believe I have the best mother in the universe.  She was always loving and continues to be.  She had a heart for God and lived it ALWAYS.  She has the most scripture hidden in her heart of anyone I know.  In the midst of her growing dementia, she can still quote scripture.   Oh, that I might learn from her even in her demise!  I still see her touching lives all the time.  She's still here for some reason.

Snow

The Dog and the Cats...

We have had two sick cats and a recovering doberman and that takes emotional energy.  Sunday I noticed our most healthy cat who eats everything was not eating and furthermore was throwing up.  It was so sad.  He is very resilient, but not lately.

Mr Kitty.

Beautiful Colorado Day

Today was a beautiful day in Colorado,  Very unseasonably warm but it is nice to have both kinds of weather.  We got out today and drove a short distance to Perry Park.  There is a beautiful property there that we would love to own, but it is a bit too far from what we want to be close to.

Great Trip

I had a great time back in Oklahoma.  I saw my mother, daughters, sister and BIL, and other family members.   But, it is so good to be home.