A Hard Week

I just don't know if this will get any easier.  I miss my Mother and sister so much.  I am overwhelmed with so many questions.  Did they know I loved them?  Did I do all I could to make Jetta's last days as good as they could be?  I could have done more, I could have been there when she died.  So many regrets and questions.  They sort of torment me at times.  I must leave it in God's hands.  This week reminds me of the complete unknown of what was happening this week 2 years ago.  It feels like yesterday.  We had no idea what to expect or what to do.  She always expected to live and yet she was dying for weeks.  Why did I not experience this last year?  We were so busy selling the MIL's house and the husband was gone a lot and I was alone.  I was in denial.  Then we bought a house and moved to another state.  But back to two years ago.  It went by in a blur.  I still wonder what I missed during that blur.  Did I miss something that would make this a little bit easier?  I have tried to think of what that might have been.  So not only did Jetta die this week, it is also the anniversary of my mother's birthday.  The first one without her.  It is a tough week.  I need to look at pictures and enjoy what they were in my life.

Mother here in Colorado

Jetta in Colorado

Jetta and Mother cooking together, they did this A LOT.

More this week.  This helps me look at these pictures and remember...