A Hard Week

I just don't know if this will get any easier.  I miss my Mother and sister so much.  I am overwhelmed with so many questions.  Did they know I loved them?  Did I do all I could to make Jetta's last days as good as they could be?  I could have done more, I could have been there when she died.  So many regrets and questions.  They sort of torment me at times.  I must leave it in God's hands.  This week reminds me of the complete unknown of what was happening this week 2 years ago.  It feels like yesterday.  We had no idea what to expect or what to do.  She always expected to live and yet she was dying for weeks.  Why did I not experience this last year?  We were so busy selling the MIL's house and the husband was gone a lot and I was alone.  I was in denial.  Then we bought a house and moved to another state.  But back to two years ago.  It went by in a blur.  I still wonder what I missed during that blur.  Did I miss something that would make this a little bit easier?  I have tried to think of what that might have been.  So not only did Jetta die this week, it is also the anniversary of my mother's birthday.  The first one without her.  It is a tough week.  I need to look at pictures and enjoy what they were in my life.

Mother's Day Colorado Style

We have/had 6-8 inches heavy wet snow.  The trees had leafed out and they were looking like they might break, especially the aspens.  A little more snow tonight then maybe we can warm up a bit.  I really don't mind the snow.  I like wearing my boots!  No one should feel sorry for us because we might have 70 degree days in January.  This is really what it's like in Colorado.  I love living here.

Prayer

My prayer today.

Missing My Daughters!

I LOVE my daughters!  Now that I live in another state, not the same one they live in, I really miss them SO much!  We have wonderful memories and I plan on having more, but today I am missing them a lot!  I am listening to a tune that reminds me of our kitchen on Chukar, drinking wine and maybe a tear or two for me.  I love you two!!!  Soon I will see you but today it is not soon enough!


Here's to Life, Here's to Love, Here's to YOU!!

Spring Snow

Yet in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  Romans 8:37.

I need to be more of a conqueror.  I still am finding out who I am without my mother and sister.  This is a lot harder than I ever imagined.  Thank God for my sister I still have.  I have never had such a great relationship with her.

Return to Blogging

I am attempting to return to blogging.  I haven't had much to blog about.  I am tired of being sad and reflective and need some new life.  

Spring is trying to spring here in Colorado and at the same time it is supposed to snow this week.  It will be here when it is ready.

Cold Damp Rainy Day

Today is a day that is wonderful for the soil and water table, but a bit miserable for humans, except to be snuggled down somewhere, either in front of the fire or cozied up with a warm pet.