Another Day, Another Time

I spend a lot of time in the reflective mode.  This is not bad unless it is too much, and I border on too much.  A blogger I watch had a good post recently.  It was taken from the Dr Seuss book, Oh the Places You'll Go.  She was talking about being in the waiting place.  I find way too much of my life has been spent in the waiting place.  Waiting for the kids to get out of diapers, waiting for more money, waiting to lose weight, waiting for the Holidays, waiting for summer, waiting for fall...I could go on forever because I feel like I have wasted a lot of life waiting.  I also wonder if I have left people out waiting?  Have I loved less because I was busy waiting.  Have I missed opportunities to bless someone by waiting?  Way too many what ifs and what have I done all these years to bore people with, but sometimes sleep does not come because I think about this too much.  It is water under the bridge now, but that does not stop me from looking back.  But am I looking back too much to see what is coming up next?  Or simply missing life right now wondering about the water under the bridge and waiting?  Deep Crap!  The 35 years in Oklahoma,  some of which I was waiting to live in some other place, but now I do and that does not seem like such a bad place after all.

Snow on the gourd in OK

My Baron

Gnome in the snow.

I agree that it is good to have some goals to keep you from just waiting.  I have had some good ones in my life.  One of them was to get a college education, and I did.

College graduation.

But now that I am closer to retiring, from what???, than starting something,  I wonder what kind of goals I can actually achieve.  There are definitely more restrictions.  I can't keep waiting for the perfect thing to come along.  I need to find something and get into it.  

I have spent a lot of time on this John Deere mowing the acreage thinking about what I could do in this phase of my life.  I knew I might miss those times, and I am sure I will.  I guess I will need to find another place of solitude and thinking.